i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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