Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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