My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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