I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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