awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
