I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
