His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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