You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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