She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
