Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Watching her eat just hurts me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
