Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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