WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
