Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
