you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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