Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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