I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
