At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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