There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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