she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
