im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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