a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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