Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
