Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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