So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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