i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I will be naked everywhere
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
