3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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