i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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