You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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