sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My vagina just recognized that song.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
