I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
