I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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