Whod you bang
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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