Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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