Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
