I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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