well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
