I CAN MOONWALK!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
whose ass print is on the piano?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
