I got chris browned last night
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
