I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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