I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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