if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
