My room smells like vodka and shame
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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