If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
