Whod you bang
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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