onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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