so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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