Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
