He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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