so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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