She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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