She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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