Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You took a bar mat shot.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
