barbara walters just said penis...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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