I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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