Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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