do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
