Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
