S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
