Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
