real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
