North Korea, Best Korea!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
