Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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